Resume

OBJECTIVE: Be on “Survivor” and get to the final four, and use that fame to springboard my way to hosting duties on the Family Feud.

EDUCATION:

Wikipedia.org

-Thinking of things I might like to know more about

-Typing things in the search bar

-Skimming articles quickly

WORK EXPERIENCE:

Football Coach

-Have efficiently and effectively managed and coached a results-driven fantasy football team for 5 years

MIT

-Mopping up floors

-Solving equations on chalkboards

LIFE EXPERIENCE:

-Going to Dave Matthews Band concerts

NOTABLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

-Have collected all 150 original Pokemon

SKILLS:

-Proficient in hula hooping

-Can teach you how to dougie

-Vast knowledge of Saved by the Bell trivia