17 Seasons Later and the “Survivor” Torch is Still Burning…Awesome

Most would argue that “Survivor” is the same thing over and over again every season. I hear this argument, I don’t know,two or three times a week, and here’s what’s up: the people who argue this are 100% wrong. This game is fascinating, and while there was definitely a lull period where it did seem like the castaways were chosen to fill somewhat specific stereotypical roles at times, the show has definitely moved past that. People enter this game and no season plays out exactly like a preceding season. There are shake-ups along the way that hinder any player’s ability to make sure that everything goes according to plan. That said, never tell me that every season of “Survivor” is the same. You’re wrong. You’ll always be wrong.

With that off my chest, I’ll move onto my reaction to the season premiere. This season takes place in Gabon (Africa), which I think is pretty awesome because the last few seasons have all been primarily tropical locations, I’m glad to see a jungle type setting. In any case, obviously they’ve been split into two tribes. One tribe sucks. The other does not suck. Fang is the tribe that sucks, and they suck, namely because they’re all just collectively stupid. We’ll come back to that. Kota does not suck at all. They’re smart, athletic, get along fairly well, and are all around cooler people.

Specifically, a few castaways have already made names for themselves, whereas usually it takes me a few episodes to sort of get names and such straight. Bob. Bob is like, this cool older guy who knows how to do all this outdoorsman-type stuff. He’s a nerdy looking Physics teacher, but I’ll be damned if he wasn’t the first one making camp liveable by waterproofing the shelter and building a bench. Needless to say, if I’m going to be stranded in the woods, this is a guy I want on my side. As for Kelly, she really said nothing throughout the entire episode, but this is a girl I would want on my side in the jungle, because she’s just cute as hell.

Obviously, I have to make a point about Charlie. Awkward thing about Charlie is that he seems to have a little crush on Marcus, but odds are we won’t be seeing any sparks between those two, what with Marcus being straight and all. Sorry, Charlie. Despite this, Charlie and Marcus seem to have formed a pretty solid alliance along with Corrine and Jacquie. As long as they keep Bob and Kelly around for as long as possible, I’ll be a satisfied member of the audience.

As for the Fang tribe, Randy is awesome. He’s this cynical older guy who doesn’t seem to like anybody and has basically declared his strategy as being “let everyone crash and burn.” Fair enough. Then there’s GC, this kid whose pretty much an idiot, but apparently nobody realized this because at their first tribal council they elected him to be the tribe leader for reasons unknown. At no point before the tribal council did I see GC do anything that would qualify him for a leadership position. If I did choose a leader, it’d be Dan, who seems fairly logical, but at the same time…know what, he’s one of those guys you want to like, but he’s just sort of a dumbass. After losing two challenges, he had the bright idea of their tribe showing up to the next challenge with charcoal on their faces like war paint. You know, to promote some unity and solidarity. Got knews for you. The Fang tribe fell again, he got sent to Exile Island, didn’t find the idol, and that night they were back at tribal council where, thank God, they voted out this older lady Gillian who was significantly holding them back in the challenges.

Fact is, I really want the Fang tribe to fail miserably. Usually I have trouble deciding which alliances I like better because there are certain people I like from both sides. In this case, I think the Kota tribe is awesome and the Fang tribe is collectively just stupid. Needless to say, I think this season will definitely be an interesting one. I suggest watching it.

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