“The Real World” Catch-Up Part 3: A Skanky Outfit Always Attracts Substance

Aye, I’ve seen the “Lost” season 4 finale but I need another day to digest before reporting, so for now I bring you yet another installment of “‘The Real World’ Catch-Up.” Now some may recall that Joey has a bit of a drinking problem, and once again, we saw him succumb to the drink. We saw him dancing. We saw him laughing. We saw him making out with loose and fairly attractive blondes. Tragic things happen when Joey drinks.

Worse than Joey’s drinking though, little miss down to earth Bri made out with a girl at a club while dressed in a skanky black pleather outfit and her mouth went numb…meaning the girl was on coke (as in cocaine) and passed coke (as in cocaine) onto Bri, who apparently had a meth addiction at some point that turned into a coke (as in cocaine) addiction at some point. I’m waiting for an episode to come along where Bri is not being such a friggin’ little drama queen. Anyway though, her minor relapse gave her more to bond with Joey over due to his minor relapse. Unfortunately, the more she bonds with a man of substance (yes! total play on words, totally rockin’ the double meaning!) like Joey, the less attracted she is to him.

And now, for this season’s job/assignment: rather than the typical job assigned to the cast, this season’s cast is taking improv classes to become an improv group. They were greeted by none other than comedy and substance-abuse superstar Andy Dick! Everyone was ecstatic…except Greg…who said, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m as familiar with your…personality as everyone else here. Who are you?” Dumbass.

Next up was another big night out for the cast, meaning Bri donned her pleather underwear and bra and attempted to pass it off as acceptable attire for a young woman. Naturally, she attracted some sketchball with a crappy mohawk named Jo-Jo, also referred to as H0-Ho (according to some girls Dave talked to at the bar, the guy is a total “whorebag” and is probably crawling with STDs). Joey got a little jealous, namely because a girl he thinks is attracted to him, was also attracted to…well…this guy.

In any case, they got rid of Ho-Ho and the next day had another improv class, that strangely enough, looked like it went pretty well. Granted, that night they were assigned to go to an improv show, which Greg blew off. Nice work, Greg, I admire your dedication to unity and success.

That should just about do it for part 3, except a few fairly minor details that I’ll finish with:

-Someone has randomly been putting crap in people’s beds (rocks in Will’s, a bloody tissue in Dave’s?, and hundred dollar bills neatly placed on Greg’s!), and because no one in the house is more retarded than Greg, everyone is pretty damn sure that it’s Greg

-Sexual tension and flirtation continues to brew between Dave and Kimberly

-The whole Southern blonde thing that Kimberly has going on continues to be inexplicably and ridiculously cute

-Joey’s alcohol problems ain’t over…stay tuned…